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Posts Tagged ‘realtionships’

 
 

In every form of relationship, the struggle for power becomes part of it at some point.
The relationships can vary from work, family and emotional relationships. We try to control other’s lives
and sell our point. If you think about it, every problem begins with this feeling to win a situation.

Be it our life partner , our children or colleagues, we try to outsmart them, dominate them with our ideas and values. We don’t think they have a mind of their own. Sometimes we become the victim and sometimes we make others the victim. When we become the abuser , we get a pleasure in gaining control over other’s actions. When we are the abused , we tend to remain silent and make the scars worse than intended.

Let’s take our kids. As parents we have the expectations from our kids to obey us all the time.

It becomes a pattern and habit by nature. We tend to decide it all for our kids. Yes it does make sense until our kids are old enough. But sometimes we go overboard. I have heard time to time from my friends and family on the struggles with their kids.

“He doesn’t listen to me. He is always stuck to the computers”

“She keeps wearing weird outfits. It’s a daily battle with her outfits”

When the power struggles happen quiet frequently, it’s time to take action. Look at the patterns of the occurrence. Negotiation, choices and some flexibility will help in a win-win situation. Say yes to your kids once and make them accountable for a compromise. Give and take always works well than abide by rules logic with kids.

I have seen many couples trying to control their partners with a sense of pride. The companionship is lost in such households and you can notice at least one couple with the power struggle around you. It takes a lot of effort to understand , it’s us versus me when it comes to a successful marriage. Many marriages end in courtrooms with no room for a conversation. When bad situations occur, we tend to choose the easy route of blaming our partners . We don’t take the time to improve the situation rather we complain and empathize with the situation. The serious issue with our relationships is that we never let go of our previous experiences. We hang on to the ghosts in our closet and bring it back every time we get into an argument.

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I’m feeling rather philosophical today. I came across an article in my favorite magazine Prevention.
The author discusses about happiness and positive thinking. It made me think about our personal happiness.
All of our beliefs and feelings are based on our inner thoughts,both conscious and sub conscious.
When it comes to how happy or unhappy we are, we are the boss. Have we ever thought about what makes us happy?

Most of the time, we let situations beyond our control rule our lives. People will do selfish and dumb things and sometimes things may be just unfair, but the worst damage that anyone can do to you is what you allow them to.You may end up with a broken heart because a best friend lets you down or frustrated with not much recognition at work/personal life, but why stress yourself paying for their mistake?

Our happiness is our personal choice. It’s our life and the only one who can really ruin our life is us.
Accepting another individual is not an easy task. It takes lot of courage and insight . If you don’t like someone, make a questionnaire in your inner mind. Ask yourself if it’s the specific action that makes you mad. Bring that person’s positive qualities upfront. Think about all the good qualities he/she has. When you zoom in the positive, the negatives will become minimized.

This rule can be applied both at work and personal life. Hatred towards someone is one of the top rankers in depriving someone’s happiness. A positive outlook of people and every aspect of life will sure bring back the enthusiasm and drive out the unhappiness we feel at times.
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